Suzanne responds to a recent post, More Women than Men, writes about her husband not being supportive. It's a huge problem for Morgellons women.
I've been dealing with Morgellons Syndrome for 4 years. My husband "just didn't get it", and it hasn't been easy. He kept trying to get me to see specialists and dermatologists. I did all that. One dermatologist prescribed over $400 worth of creams... something for everything I guess. To make a long story short, one night, this past January, we were having dinner and we talked about what was happening to me and he got very angry. I had told him that doctors don't believe that it is real. He said: "How do you know? You never go see any.".
I told him that it is a well known fact that doctors think that it is a delusional problem. My own doctor had told me that when I first went with my symptoms. My husband banged his hand against the table and said that I wasn't doing enough. At that point, I literally threw him your book. I told him that I would talk to him about my issue AFTER he read it. Then I went to bed.
Apparently, he stayed up most of the night, because in the morning, not only did he apologize to me, he gave me back the book and it was full of highlighted pages and words. He has made lists for me and is on track with the grocery shopping and cooking.
Sometimes, I try something new and I end up having to go back to Stage 1. He helps me get on track. THANK YOU, Richard! I WILL get through this!!"
I Thank Suzanne for taking the time to share her experience. As I've written before, having spousal support is a big problem for many women. One of our subscribers who is very familiar with Abuse in relationships writes, "It’s called Covert Emotional Abuse and Double Abuse. People who are in these types of marriages have a compromised immune system. The reason this is so is due to how difficult it is to understand or describe covert manipulative behaviors that minimize the victim’s voice and personhood. Prolonged states of stressful confusion lead to PTSD. When people don’t believe and instead criticize, judge or ostracize victims it’s called Double Abuse. This secondary layer exacerbates PTSD into Complex PTSD. It is at this precise moment when many immune systems collapse. Risks of contracting Morgellons
disease is very high. It’s an example of trauma.
One question is: Was this type of abuse in the relationship before the onset of Morgellons Disease or was it fostered by the confusion Morgellons
Confusion? Yes, Suzanne's abuse was brought on by confusion. It's highly unlikely that anyone who first has the symptoms of Morgellons Syndrome knows enough about the disease to know what it's called much less what to do about finding a
Morgellons cure. And, obviously doctor's don't help. So you have a spouse suffering dramatically day after day. I remember the suffering and confusion well. You try everything you can find in the drug store and there's no help. Your spouse is confused and doesn't know what to do other than send you to the doctor. Both of you hopeful that the doctor can put a name on it, and an end to your suffering. But instead, nothing the doctor does helps and you get a diagnoses of scabies, at best, and delusions of parasites, at worst.
You know it's not delusional, but your spouse may believe the doctor--all because the doctor has no f'n idea what filaments growing from your skin mean. So, is this when the spousal double abuse begins to wrack up more stress on the sufferer, or was it part of the relationship in the first place? If it was there before, then it's always been an unhealthy relationship and unlikely to change.
Personally, I don't believe that any kind of stress or immune deficiency brings on Morgellons. In fact Randy Wymore's research doesn't find a connection with stress or immune deficiency--you're either susceptible to it or not. And, if you are susceptible and come in contact with the organism, it will take up residence in your body. If you know exactly what to do with the first attack, you can beat the organism, but if you don't know what to do, it will beat you.
Let me give you and example. I received a package from a Morgellons' sufferer. I sprayed it with ammonia as I opened it thinking I had disinfected it. Within two days I had a lesion start on my hand. I didn't wait for filaments to form. I immediately applied the deep wound NG followed by the exfoliant cream--our Deep Wound Cleanse Kit, It progressed to a large lesion but completely healed within a week.
From that point on, every couple of weeks, I noticed sub cutaneous abnormalities like a bruise on the top of my hand for no reason. Applying NG cleared them up. Eventually, I decided to apply the NG to my hands daily and not wait for the abnormalities to appear.
However, I do believe that extraordinary stress of double abuse simply makes it more difficult to get your life back for many reasons. And one of them is re contamination from the person shoveling out the double abuse as he may well be a carrier of the disease. Women often say, "I see lesions, rashes, and so on, on his body, but he says they are nothing."
Another reason is that there's no support from the spouse. No support for you to stick with the diet; no support in helping to disinfect the household; no financial support for you to purchase needed supplies for the Morgellons Treatment protocol; no emotional support for you to get from one day to the next; and, no support in any way for either of you to learn more about Morgellons disease or make any decisions.
Yes, throwing my book in your spouse's face, as Suzanne did, may help, save your marriage, and turn your spouse into helping you fight Morgellons syndrome, or it might not--it's worth a try.